Everyone has their share of negative emotions and moments of insecurity. The thing that makes us different is the way we handle our own insecurities.

I have always lived in the shadow of my elder sister, and in a way, I still am. She's a straight A1 student with a full scholarship, one of only a few honor students in her college before she started university, the MVP in her former basketball team, my mother's favorite daughter, a district rep for basketball and softball during secondary school and a cheerleader, among many other things that would take me forever to finish listing out.

If that doesn't cast an enormous pitch black shadow you, you must be usain bolt or something.

However, I have found a way to turn these insecurities of mine into something beneficial to myself. I have found strength in being the lesser being in my family.

I have developed perseverance. I have become someone who sees something to the finishing line (only if I truly want it done). I have become someone who's somewhat better than average in everything that I do. Not excellent, but that's ok with me.

Of course, nothing ever comes to me without effort. I have not cruised through much of anything. I have never had the chance to snap my fingers and automatically become good at something.

Good long term memory has been bestowed upon me, but there's no memory to draw upon unless i've read it before.

Volleyball, did not come without hours under the sun, digging against the wall, diving till my knees bled and bruised, and set till I sprained 8/10 fingers on both my hands. Even now, after 3 years, I still have a long way to go, if I am to pursue this sport again.

My hand-eye coordination when I was in lower secondary sucked. I was chubby and asleep more than half the day. Training made me the sportsperson I am today. Picking up other sports would not have been easy without hours of teaching my body how to move years before.

I'm blessed, because most of my efforts have paid off.

But really, nobody is free of insecurities. Even now, I still feel like the lesser one. I will probably never be as good as my sister, but there's no harm in learning from her ferocious work ethic and amazing diversity in the things she involves herself in.

The same place in my heart which was once full of spite, is now the place where I draw my strength.