i'm pretty sure that my sanity has been significantly compromised over the past few days. the gruelling exam period is well, gruelling. im not one to put in my all and work hard during normal exams, but this time around, i think i gave more than i've ever given.

i have never in my life, burned midnight oil for anything before. sleep was always more important. sleep was, and is, and will always be a fundamental part of my life. i always chose sleep. ALWAYS. this time around, i stayed up till 2.30 am in the morning to study biology. of course, i did study until really late for all my other more difficult subjects too, but biology took the cake.

i have violated my "SLEEP OVER STUDY" principle. i have failed myself. but then again, if i didn't do so, i can bet that i would've done much worse than i thought i did today. upper secondary IS different, and really is a big leap from the easygoing world of lower secondary. and to think i was terrified of PMR.


psht, silly child.


im at a crossroad in my life. or rather, there are no roads for me to take at all, because i can't see myself as anything in the future. i can't even see what college i'll be in. what program i want to take in college. which subjects pique my interests. I KNOW NOTHING. it's already decision time next year, and the only thing i definitely know is, I WANT A SCHOLARSHIP. a full scholarship that will allow me to further my studies overseas. but the options are endless, and i can't apply for one if i don't even know what i want to do.


i've never felt so lost before. the worst thing is, i know there's no easy way out, no way to cut corners, and no way to know when i'll find my answer. i don't want to make a silly mistake now and suffer for the rest of my life. ):


*






anyways, now, im all out for bringing my normal self back. trying to rectify all the damage done by excessive studying will be no easy feat! :P




taa, marshmallows.