argh so many things i want to say, but so many people i'll insult in the process of voicing out my opinions. tell me why again i should be restraining myself from this. what is the world is holding me back from being completely ignorant.

oh wait, i actually do care about what others think, and how they feel. i shall keep my strong opinions to myself for now, to avoid unnecessary, conflicts.

but i will say one thing,

i am extremely annoyed at people who are too absorbed with their apparent 'most important' person in their life to even bother caring about the people who have supported you nonetheless even through times of pain and hardship previously unknown to that person you treasure so much now. no, im not talking about you.

*


before i sink into the world of depression during the period where we receive our exam results, i shall, immerse myself in the closest thing to drugs and happiness that i know of without the damaging side effects. i will, read and watch an obscene amount of shows on my computer for the next 48 hours and completely fill it with heaven-like happiness so to displace as much depression i will come to face in the next month as much as possible. it is a hope of mine, that i will not be disowned by my parents because of failure.

failures are not tolerated in my family. and i wish to remain forever tolerable in my family, thank you very much. (:

*


pshtt, apparently today was judgement day. the only judgement i got was from the air con man who came in at the wrong moment, who happened to catch me lazily lying down on my couch eating biscuits and drinking milo between mealtimes, like a true fatty. i believe he is the only one that has judged me today. :P

and this is not the first time the world is supposedly coming to an end. so many times they've told us that we only have limited time left on earth, and yet again, here we are, releatively unscathed and fine, as always -.- why the hell do we need another judgement day prediction when 2012 isn't even here yet. ISH. all these people trying to scare the world into a state of horror, just to boost the sale of booze and other meaningless acts just to get people to savour the apparent last moments of their lives.


cheapskate.

*

honestly i think im blogging rather weirdly now, so excuse the way that im wording my sentences now, for i am currently under the influence of the language from a medieval court show. i should be back to normal by tomorrow (:

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i've always wondered how life would be after i graduate. now, i have a goal, a certain goal, no doubt that i have to achieve, or bear the harsh consequences of it. but what about after all of that? that breif period of time between a new beginning and the ending of one phase of my life, will probably be the most uncertain time in my life, because i will only be filled with uncertainty of where to go next, as im not sure of my ambition :/ i don't intend to fully succumb to my mother's intentions of making me into the first doctor of my family, but now i have no other passions that are able to propell me into the direction i want to go. no, the problem is, i don't what what direction i should be going towards.

i am, aimless. what if i have yet to find my true calling by the time i have to make a crucial decision, that will ultimately decide how i live for the rest of my life. what if im forced to take the route preset by my parents long before i had the free will to decide what my true calling is in life. what if, i take this route, and regret for the rest of my life, only to end up hating everything that has pushed me into that direction.

what if i end up being a slave to my parents ambitions, and work tirelessly for a noble job, that i do not, and will never enjoy.

i still think i will be too immature to make that decision for myself next year. mark my words, by the end of this year, i will yet to have decided what i want to do in the future. i am, a mess. \

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ahh too much thought to process in one go. whatever, my shows are calling out to me. TAAAAA (: