if there was a common characteristic that's really apparent amoung my siblings, it'll be that we're all frugal people.

growing up avoiding certain colours of sushi plates on the conveyor belt, not buying anything above rm 30, setting the timer of the air con to turn off at 3am. at one point in time my family was going through a really hard time and we were all, brought up to be as thrifty as possible.

my brother, probably got the worst of it. he was in secondary school when this happened and there were alot of things he didn't do because he knew how much we were living on. honestly i don't remember it too clearly because i was really really young, but i remembered that my parents were in a really bad mood everyday and suddenly we weren't allowed to eat out so much anymore, and my dad didn't spend on albums, like he used to anymore.

i don't regret growing up like that. i appreciate money and food and material things. but honestly i think i've become frugal to the extent that i don't buy anything. im reluctant to get nice clothes because they're usually expensive. i stop myself from having an extended train of thought when i see something nice in a store. i never try on clothes, unless i really like it, and it's within my price range, because im afraid that if it happens to look good on me, i'll end up regretting not buying it.


i feel like im subconsciously still trapped in the days where money was hard to come by and every little thing had to be treated like treasure. i feel like, im not living like a normal teenager, who shops and gets nice things and wears a different shirt everyday. obviously i've tried reminding myself that we've got at least a little money to spend on nice things now, but it's become a part of me, this instinct to savesavesavesavesave and not spend.


ahh well. at least i vented this out. (: things will get better, in time. i will overcome this, idon'treallyknowwhattocallit of mine, and i shall begin to live, abit more like an average person.


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and in case you're wondering, i do self-therapy on my blog. my state of mind before i write a post and after i do is totally different, when im talking about serious things. writing really does wonders. i come to simple resolutions all the time while blogging, and those are the resolutions that really stick. like that no milo and food in between meals thing? still ongoing. i've violated it once, but i paid myself back. (':

thank god i have a blog. god knows where else i can almost freely express my thoughts and opinions like this. and to top that off, i get to show people how awesome my english is. :P

meh, that's not really the point, but honestly, i think the state of my english would be rotten if i didn't start blogging back in form 1. blame it on the horrible state of english usage in malaysia.

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funny how people use the word 'love' so freely nowadays. i don't understand how immature people think that they can fully commit to a lasting relationship with another person, who is outside your family. some of them don't even know the meaning of commitment, and they're already out there, on the prowl for their so-called, life partners. i get irritated when people fling around words like 'i love you' and not know the full meaning and extent of what you're saying.

i hate people who get into relationships and break up after 2 weeks. i will never understand how your mind works, because i think no matter how love-smitten you are, you should never put yourself through a break-up for nothing. i think people should learn how to distinguish between true love and infatuation, because nobody can build a lasting and honest relationship based on infatuation and lies.


sorry if this topic pops out too often, my anger gets sparked whenever i see all these small kids expressing their 'love' towards each other on facebook -.-

ah then again, it's your life, no? (:

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ah well, toodles! (:


okayy, this looks weird. but heck, it took me 5 minutes to upload this and im not just gonna delete it -.-


:PP