I won't budge. but i can't say it.

i am sick and tired of having you make decisions for me. what more could i have said? you would have forced me to anyway. you're dragging me to that hellhole with you. i didn't say i wanted to go just becuase you are. im sorry if im not as "enthusiastic" as her, but that's who i am. i do not believe. i lost that a long time ago. and if you think you can force me there in peace, think again. i will, i repeat. I WILL not let myself go down without a fight. i don't want to go. is that so hard to accept? im tired of it already. WHY ARE YOU STILL DOING THIS TO ME. DON'T FORCE YOUR BELIEFS ON TO ME. IM TIRED OF MAKING EXCUSES TO JUSTIFY YOUR DECISION. IT'S THE LAST THING I NEED.

And then,
The boy drifted off to sleep breathing heavy
The flames within the ash,
one by one welling up,
That beloved face
Thousands of dreams upon this earth
as your silver eyes tremble upon that night,
A shining "You" is born
hundreds of millions of months and years.
No matter how many prayers
are returned to earth,
I shall continue to pray.
Please, give this child love
joined hands and
a kiss.

from D-gray man. i found it fascinating enough to type this out here (: